Back in my twenties, I learnt how to tune in to my subconscious – something I have regretted ever since.
I know it sounds weird, and a lot of people will struggle with the concept of tuning in to your subconscious thoughts, but it is possible.
In my early twenties, I was separated from my first husband, and living with my godmother. I was in a bad space, and I needed help, so I turned to the library. Man, that was probably a big mistake.
While there are lots of really good books out there to help – there are also just as many full of crackpot ideas. One in particular told me that I had been physically, emotionally and verbally abused by my parents and others around me because of the way they talked to me, interacted with me, and disciplined me. I could have divorced my parents right there and then! It took a long time to really “dis-learn” this information, because it was false. I was disciplined when I did wrong – love was never withdrawn from me if I did wrong, so I wasn’t emotionally abused, and I wasn’t told I was stupid or dumb by my parents either – but in saying that, not being told you are clever and intelligent also has a negative effect, but that’s probably for another post.
Reading these books, I became aware that I needed to tune into my subconscious thoughts – you know, the ones that are deeper than our normal day to day thoughts that flick through our mind as we are doing our daily jobs –
I’ll turn the jug on, and after I’ve folded the washing, I’ll have a cuppa, and then make tea – what am I going to do for tea? Steak? Chicken? Pork? Hmm, potatoes? What have I got in the fridge?
OK, so you get the idea – and yeah men, a woman’s mind does work like this, which is why the jug is normally hot, but there is no cup of tea / coffee to be seen.
The subconscious thoughts are the deeper ones. The one’s that make you who you are. The one’s that run deep within your psyche. They sound something like this (running along the lines of above)-
You are worthless, why make a cup of tea? You don’t have enough time for that. Meat – urgh! You’ll only overcook it, Potatoes – urgh! carbohydrates that just turn to fat. What’s in the fridge – nothing worth eating – why would you want to eat, you fat pig – you can’t cook a decent meal to save yourself.
Yes – that is what a subconscious can sound like – does it sound familiar??? Notice how it is negative? Who does it sound like? If you read that and heard a distinct voice – you know which person that came from. It certainly isn’t my mothers voice, and while some is my father’s, a lot of it came from my first husband and own perception of the world around me. (My first husband was a baker, and always told me what was wrong when I baked at home…)
And no, I don’t hear voices in my head, my psychiatrist has confirmed that I am not schizophrenic – it isn’t so much a physical voice like someone talking to you. When you think thoughts, its not like someone is talking is it? Well it isn’t for me.
Anyway I learned to tune into this. If you think that’s fantastic and great, because it will help you to change that record – I have one word for you. DON’T It is dangerous, and really hard to switch off. It took me nearly a year to learn, and the biggest problem is – you can’t turn it off. Once you have tuned into it, you can’t untune it. Even in my everyday life, I catch glimpses of my subconscious, and sometimes it is like a stuck record – you’re dumb, you’re stupid, you’re fat, you’re ugly.
So if you have tuned into it, how do you stop it. As I said above, you don’t. You are stuck with it. But you can tone it down, turn down the volume so to speak. It still goes on in the background, but it sounds more like a babbling brook or a hall full of people in quiet conversation. I have changed my record, but subconscious thoughts aren’t as quick to pick them up as the conscious thoughts are – I hear positive things, interspersed by negative thoughts.
Why is this dangerous? I’ve suffered from depression for some time. Diagnosed 4 years ago, the psychiatrist believes I could have had it for as long as 10 plus years – that’s a long time. And I had already tuned into my subconscious thoughts – see where this is heading? I’ve spent the best part of six years listening to myself telling me how pathetic I am, how stupid I am, how annoying I am, how loud I am, how ugly I am… I think you get the picture. I had to listen to at least three years of this before I was able to turn it down, but even then, I still hear some of the negative thoughts, its like they don’t have a volume control. They can’t be turned down.
You are aware that for every negative it takes twenty positives to turn it around?
Pretty big statement, isn’t it. That goes to show how it can take a long time to change a subconscious. That’s why its so super important to feed positives to your kids while they are still young. Fill their subconscious with positive thoughts – you can achieve anything you put your mind to, you are a wonderful positive child – etc.
I can’t honestly tell you how I tuned it, or how I turned it down, but I can tell you I have done it. But I caution people against it. Unless you are prepared to take on the consequences, don’t do it.
To change your subconscious thoughts – well that is simpler. Affirmations – yip, something as simple as constant positive statements, and telling yourself that. Listening to your friends give you praise – take it on board.
“Thanks for being a great friend ” = I am a great friend.
Well, that is it for today – be careful what you read and what you pick up. And if you want to take something on board – make sure its positive, a loving statement about yourself.
I am a unique person, I am individual and I love that about myself.