Before I was diagnosed with depression, I had been slowly increasing in weight, just one of those things that happens as you get older and your metabolism slows down – well that’s what I tell myself anyway. The fact is that the weight became quite an issue during my depression and often contributed to my feelings of sadness.
And while I was on antidepressants (that actually make you increase weight) I changed my contraceptive pill because the one I was on was no longer subsidize, so they slapped me onto the free one. Biggest mistake ever.
Overnight, I doubled in weight – well, that is what it felt like anyway. I ended up back at the doctors in tears because it wasn’t working, and as a result I was taken off the contraception pill and offered and IUD – uh uh – been there, done that, very bloody painful – I couldn’t put my body through that again, especially not with the feelings and emotions and the state of mind that I was going through at the time. (I have since been back to the Doc and now on the waiting list at the hospital to have my tubes clipped).
As a result, I finally tipped the scales at 82kgs – which is a hard figure to say. While I am tall, and everyone says “you hide it well” . The fact is, I am big, I know I am big, and I hate being big. I hate what it does to my self esteem, and I hate that I am unmotivated enough to stick on a diet or exercise program long enough for me to shift the weight.
I have been plodding along lately, looking into things, but making myself more upset as the weeks go by, because I know it is a battle to stay on a plan.
Until this morning.
I don’t know what it was that made me think of it. Perhaps it was God, just prodding me. Either way, I had an epiphany.
I don’t have to go on a diet plan for a sustained period of time. I only have to do it for today.
Now you might think that that is extremely strange thinking, but let me explain this out further.
I exist day to day. My mind is like swiss cheese, so I have a weekly planner on my fridge where I put all my appointments and plans for the coming week. I don’t try and think about what is coming up tomorrow, I only focus on today. This makes me happier in myself, just to get to the end of today and know that I have accomplished what I needed to do today. So I only need to focus on what I eat and the exercise that I do today. Tomorrow is another new day. Tomorrow will be today. Today I only need to focus on what I eat and the exercise that I do today. Follow me now?
This is probably the simplest thing thing that I can do. I can’t focus on being on a diet for 10 days, but I can focus each day for 10 days.
And I am not talking about a DIET diet, (you know, die with a t on the end), I am talking more about sensible food choices. I brought a large tin of beetroot last week and put it into a plastic container in the fridge. When I feel like a snack, I have a few pieces of beetroot. It is sweet enough to sooth any sugar cravings, and I can generally eat as much as I like, because it is a vegetable. I have celery in the fridge, along with salad materials (although they ain’t cheap at this time of the year in NZ!), tinned peaches. I have started making my own soups and bread buns for work, and I am trying to cut down on the amount of sugar and fat that goes into my body.
As for exercise… well I think I might just get an exercise jar started, similar to my inspiration jar, but with 10 minutes of exercises I can do – like sit ups and press ups, squats and leg extensions, cross trainer, yoga, stretches. 10 minutes doesn’t seem like a lot, but that is an extra 10 minutes that I would have done, unless I found the 10 minutes to do it.
So each day, I am going to focus on what I can do in that day. And if I don’t have a good day – well there is always tomorrow, and nothing to beat myself up over.