Before I was diagnosed with depression, I had been slowly increasing in weight, just one of those things that happens as you get older and your metabolism slows down – well that’s what I tell myself anyway.  The fact is that the weight became quite an issue during my depression and often contributed to my feelings of sadness.

And while I was on antidepressants (that actually make you increase weight) I changed my contraceptive pill because the one I was on was no longer subsidize, so they slapped me onto the free one.  Biggest mistake ever.

Overnight, I doubled in weight – well, that is what it felt like anyway.  I ended up back at the doctors in tears because it wasn’t working, and as a result I was taken off the contraception pill and offered and IUD – uh uh – been there, done that, very bloody painful – I couldn’t put my body through that again, especially not with the feelings and emotions and the state of mind that I was going through at the time.  (I have since been back to the Doc and now on the waiting list at the hospital to have my tubes clipped).

As a result, I finally tipped the scales at 82kgs – which is a hard figure to say.scale1  While I am tall, and  everyone says “you hide it well” .  The fact is, I am big, I know I am big, and I hate being big.  I hate what it does to my self esteem, and I hate that I am unmotivated enough to stick on a diet or exercise program long enough for me to shift the weight.

I have been plodding along lately, looking into things, but making myself more upset as the weeks go by, because I know it is a battle to stay on a plan.

Until this morning.

I don’t know what it was that made me think of it.  Perhaps it was God, just prodding me.  Either way, I had an epiphany.

I don’t have to go on a diet plan for a sustained period of time.  I only have to do it for today.

Now you might think that that is extremely strange thinking, but let me explain this out further.

I exist day to day.  My mind is like swiss cheese, so I have a weekly planner on my fridge where I put all my appointments and plans for the coming week.  I don’t try and think about what is coming up tomorrow, I only focus on today.  This makes me happier in myself, just to get to the end of today and know that I have accomplished what I needed to do today.  So I only need to focus on what I eat and the exercise that I do today.  Tomorrow is another new day.  Tomorrow will be today.  Today I only need to focus on what I eat and the exercise that I do today.  Follow me now?

This is probably the simplest thing thing that I can do.  I can’t focus on being on a diet for 10 days, but I can focus each day for 10 days.

And I am not talking about a DIET diet, (you know, die with a t on the end), I am talking more about sensible food choices.  I brought a large tin of beetroot last week and put it into a plastic container in the fridge.  When I feel like a snack, I have a few pieces of beetroot.  It is sweet enough to sooth any sugar cravings, and I can generally eat as much as I like, because it is a vegetable.  I have celery in the fridge, along with salad materials (although they ain’t cheap at this time of the year in NZ!), tinned peaches.  I have started making my own soups and bread buns for work, and I am trying to cut down on the amount of sugar and fat that goes into my body.

As for exercise… well I think I might just get an exercise jar started, similar to my inspiration jar, but with 10 minutes of exercises I can do – like sit ups and press ups, squats and leg extensions, cross trainer, yoga, stretches.  10 minutes doesn’t seem like a lot, but that is an extra 10 minutes that I would have done, unless I found the 10 minutes to do it.

So each day, I am going to focus on what I can do in that day.  And if I don’t have a good day – well there is always tomorrow, and nothing to beat myself up over.


One Day at a Time
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