Mark FowlerIt is hard to believe that it is just over a year since Mark Fowler was killed in a motorcycle accident.  That year has brought many firsts for his family.  First birthday’s without him and first Christmas without him.

It has been a year of renewal for myself.  Mr Fowler was an inspirational man, and its a great shame that I didn’t realise that before his death.  He lived his life enjoying every moment, loving his partner, his family, doing what he loved doing, fixing motorbikes.

I learned that I needed to spend more time doing that too, and I have spent a year working out what I wanted to do with my life, how I could live it every day, enjoying every moment.  I want to do what makes me happy.

This has involved me going back to counselling, to really get the problems I have,  dealt with once and for all.  Being there for my husband, and sons, my friends.

We were also fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with his partner and children over the year, developing a close friendship with them, supporting and encouraging them, reminding his young daughters of how wonderful their father was, how much he loved them.

Mark left lots of lovely reminders, he took video’s of himself and his daughters on his iPhone, so his partner and children have these lovely memories of him.  It has made me more aware of the fact that I haven’t got things like this, so earlier this year, my husband was playing his guitar at a friends wedding, so I have a video of that now.  I have videos my son has taken.  There aren’t any of me yet, but I will do this.

Over the weekend just been, we were able to go to Takaka and spend time with his family and friends at a Memorial weekend.  We camped out at the hall and spent time remembering the goofy photos, the smile, his nose (you have to see it to believe it), spend time with his lovely girls again.  It was an opportunity for me to grieve again, spend time laughing and crying over Mark’s antics, to talk about the night we partied at his partners face after he had died and his car lights kept coming on and off – the car was locked!  We believe it was Mark, letting his friends know he was there, laughing with us.

My life was changed when Mark died.  I hope that Mark is looking down from above and smiling, knowing that his life was an inspiration for me to change my life for the better.

One Year On
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