I am in a dark place right now. The cloud isn’t over the back of my head, it is all around me. I’ve had an atrocious morning, I broke a crystal glass that my late nanna gave me, and instead of crying, I was angry because it broke and I had to clean it up. Then there was no porridge left, so I had to have ricies instead, and to top it off, I made my cup of tea with cold water!
So how the hell have I got back here? Seriously, I was down, yes, but not in hell! My medication is obviously not working, so have to go back to the Doc, when I can. It is a public holiday here today, we have another one on Wednesday, so my Doc will be back on Friday, and being a popular lady, I might not get in to see her until the following week!
I so want to rant about how crappy I feel, but I don’t want to switch my wonderful followers off! I don’t even know how I got back into such a dark place after such a wonderful weekend! I helped out at the local bookfair, and ended up in the kitchen making coffee’s because I knew how to work the coffee machine. I volunteered to go back on Sunday and ended up working there all day. It was fun, and I loved the ladies I was working with, so much fun, laughter and hugs!
But at the end of the day, three negative things happened which brought me back to earth. It was hard, because I had such a wonderful day. So I dismissed those negative things, and had a quiet evening to myself.
This morning, I am at least able to recognise that I am self defeating. Even though I had a great couple of days, I am deliberately pulling myself back down into the dark place.
I have some people in my life, whom I consider as Space Invaders. They probably aren’t even consciously aware of what they are doing, but they tend to just run rough shod over you. I need to reach a place where I can tell this person to leave me alone, but how do you do that without offending them?
Anyway, best I get on with my day, and try and focus on the positive.