I met up with my stepsister and had lunch with her, and it was fabulous to catch up with
her. We were talking about things that were going on in our lives, and she told me that I am really open and up front about my depression.
And it got me thinking while I was driving home.
Yes, I do put things out there, but I never used to.
Then another thought came to me; we often talk about airing things out in the sunshine, because it kills bugs etc, and getting your problems out and talking about them, is like airing them out in the sunshine, it brings it back to reality, shrinks the problem down to a more realistic size rather than the gargantuan thing that sits in the back of the closet and grows nastier by the day. Hiding something away just makes it become more of a problem, because you refuse to acknowledge it.
While I don’t air all of my problems – I did go to counselling and I made the counsellor earn her keep! – I have aired my depression problems here, in the hopes that someone else who might be suffering from it, reads the posts and goes “oh yeah, I can relate to that.”
A lot of people struggled to understand that I was suffering from depression because I always seemed so happy – that was the mask I wore. Only my nearest and dearest knew how bad I was. With everyone else, it was “business as usual” and that had a lot of people confused. But when you are in the depths of despair, you do everything you can to protect yourself and hide your pain from others because you don’t want to burden them with your problems. What you don’t realise is that you wouldn’t be burdening them. And it might just lighten the load.
So next time you feel like you things are getting on top of you, “air” them out – journal them, talk to a friend, or just write yourself a letter. Just do something to get let the sun on the problem and clean it up.