My husband and I have been working on our relationship lately, which has been lovely, but one question he keeps stumping me with is “Who are you?”
Who am I? Well I am me… aren’t I?
Apparently not. I am not the same person he fell in love with, and he wants me to work out who I am, so we can work on our marriage together.
Hang on, did I miss something? Apparently so!
But it has got me thinking, about what I want from life, and who I want to be.
What makes me happy? Writing for a start. I love writing, and the passion for it has come back a hundred fold since the beginning of this year, and I think I am inspired by the likes of Melissa Pearl and T G Ayer who are pumping out books flat out. And the stories I am writing are just so much fun to write. I have covered fantasy romance, paranormal suspense romance and historical romance, and looking at creating an epic fantasy romance. I even tried my hand at erotica this year.
Supporting and Encouraging people makes me happy. Working as a Teacher Aide I get to encourage children and teens to do their best. I love seeing the looks on their faces when it all clicks and makes sense. I enjoy the camaraderie that has developed between me and some of the students I work with. We can laugh and joke, but I can get serious if they aren’t pulling their weight. I like to think I am fair with them.
Its not just the students I enjoy supporting and encouraging, it is my friends too. I want to help them out in any small way I can to make things easier for them, or to make them see the lighter side of life. I learnt how important this was to me when I was at my worst, and my best friend was always contacting me via facebook, or phone, just to check in, make me laugh (or cry) and just encourage me. I want to repay that to others in my sphere of influence.
Being with my family fills me with joy. Although this is only a recent occurrence. I have struggled with my stepchildren for years, but it is only recently that I have really stepped back and decided that I need to be there for them, probably more than anyone else. And with my husband and I agreeing to having a family day once a month, where we spend an entire day with the children doing something with them – not just letting them wander off on their own. This month, we have had two family days, and numerous evenings out playing basketball in the park. Just being with them, laughing, sharing moments of joy and tears has really built a new and improved relationship between not only me and my steppies, but my own son, and my husband too.
So what do I want from life? To be happy first and foremost. This is happening at the moment both in my personal and professional life, and I am lucky that is happening. Many people out in the world aren’t happy with either.
I also want to be successful at what I do. And this brought me to how am I going to measure that success?
Interesting question. I guess with writing, it will be to become a published writer. But how do you measure success within your family? Easy answer, that your family are happy and as accepting of me – as I am – as I am with them. Confused? I just mean that everyone likes me, just the way I am, crazy weirdness and all. My husband is slowly accepting this, and it is taking him some getting used to. But he will. I don’t want to change my quirks, I like them.
I am also an introvert, which has really explained a lot to me this year. It explains why I like time alone, and how it is essential that I get it. It explains my aversion to meeting new people, but being comfortable with those that I know. Being an introvert means I keep a lot of information to myself. I don’t share a lot about myself to anyone, only those who know me well. Those who think they know me, don’t know half of it.
So who am I? Hi, I’m Catherine and I am an introverted notebookaholic Teacher Aide, who looks after a husband, three sons, two cats, one greedy goldfish, and I happen to like to write. How do you do?