Bangs Head on Desk by Tolan88 @ deviantart

This week has had highs and lows, good things and bag things and everything in between.

My depression is lifting once more, but it is a slow process.  I heard it recently put like this:  You don’t feel happy, you don’t feel sad.  You don’t feel anything.  And that is correct.  For me, I can laugh, but not feel the joy with it.  I can feel sad, but not necessarily cry bitterly.  I feel very indifferent, which can be scary.  I am not a down person by nature.  I am generally upbeat and happy, so feeling blah really does scare me.

Anyway – on the writing front, I have edited up to Chapter 4 of Medusa once I printed it out.  A much better option, but then my son was off at Nannas for a week, and I was able to get a bit of stuff done.  I did manage to get Chapter two in the laptop, but I need to make a conscious effort to get the rest done.

Good news, another story idea came out of the blue – well actually probably more the black, because it was a dream.  I only have the start of the story, but already I have some more added to it.  It is currently dwelling in a notebook, with jottings, and will eventually have a notebook of its own, once I can work out where the story is going.  At this stage, I am figuring on fey folk, but that could change.

I have been struggling with Son of God lately, but the last two days have seen a little bit of work and thought go into that, so I hope to translate those onto the pages and start getting the story started again.

My head is a jumble of thoughts, and I can’t seem to slow it down to make sense of any of it.  Just keeping myself busy with gardening or housework is enough to quieten it down, but night times are the worst.  They thoughts fly unbidden, and I know I am tense with them, but I can’t seem to relax, no matter what I do.  Reading has been my only solace at the moment, reading until my eyes hurt, then turn out the light and hope for sleep.

I so hate this darkness.

A Mixed Bag Week
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2 thoughts on “A Mixed Bag Week

  • January 24, 2012 at 2:00 pm

    Hi, Catherine. I’m so sorry. I feel so powerless. I wish there was something that I could do to help. I hope checking in with you periodically and praying helps. That last line haunts me.
    Take care, my faraway friend.


    • January 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

      Thanks Jimmy, unfortunately depression is a strange beast, and when you think you have beat it, something out pops up and you crash again. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, that is all I require at this time. Things are getting better. Sometimes you need the down times to make you realise how far you have come in the good times. 🙂


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