Sounds like a line from a corny joke doesn’t it. I went to visit the Doctor last week for the first time in ages. I only have to visit her every 6 months now, however with the cost of doctors visits (as they don’t take into account the fact that I have a community services card), I try to avoid going until I have a long list of things that need attending.
She reckons I’ve lost weight. I couldn’t tell her if I have or not because I haven’t weighed myself since the beginning of the year. I had become too obsessive with my weight, and I measured myself and weighed myself once a week. That was way too many times a week really. So the only guide I use now is my clothes. I eat healthily, and drink plenty of fluid, so I should be all good.
We discussed my depression and she was pleased that I had self managed in February and was happy with what I had done. Overall, she was really happy.
Until I mentioned how I felt constantly tired and didn’t want to. Boy, did she tell me off! “Its the nature of your depression, Karen.”
“But I thought I was getting better.”
“You are, but your body has years of stress that it is trying to deal with. You have to go easy on yourself.”
Yeah, easier said than done.
I work 5 or 6 hours and I need a nap! That doesn’t feel normal, but according to my doctor, it is. Totally normal, and perfectly Okay.
But she doesn’t have to explain to people why I look perfectly healthy but so totally stuffed! Just like my friends daughter. She was recently diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue, a rather debilitating illness, where you are literally bone weary. People complain about their bones being sore and constantly tired. She looks normal, healthy and happy, but constantly tired and lacking energy. Her fellow pupils were giving her a hard time when she did have enough energy for school because she looked fine. People only see what’s on the outside, not what is on the inside. And its what’s going on inside the brain and body that are so hard to explain to people.
And depression is such a funny beast. People don’t associate decreased energy levels with depression. Tiredness yes, but being bone sore – why would that be a problem. I eat healthy enough, and plenty of energy foods, but it doesn’t necessarily translate that it nourishes my body. My brain is still coming to grips with the fact that it was running on empty for up to ten years – and definitely six. But the brain is able to repair itself, which is a real blessing.
But it doesn’t stop my tiredness. And it may be years for the tiredness to go… Oh bugger!
In other news: I have been interviewed about book covers over on Beverley Bateman’s website. Go over and check it out.
Anyway, editing has started on Finding Amy Archer, and I have a small army of critiquers and beta readers ready to read my book. I’m hoping to get a bit of it done over the Easter break so I could have it out as early as the end of April. I’m rather excited about it.
I started editing while I was in Wellington with my friend. And he worked out that he is my muse. And I have to admit, that maybe he is. I come up with some pretty good ideas when I am around him, and have done a lot of writing and editing while at his place, or while he is around. And you know what? He encourages me to do it. ACTUALLY ENCOURAGES ME! How exciting is that. Its really nice to have someone care about what I do, not only cares, but asks me why I’m not doing it if I don’t. So yes, I have a muse, I have someone who inspires me to write.
And while Blood Gold will be a while in the making, I have plotted another story, possibly a romance. Still working on the details, but at this stage, its working title is The Gardener… what does that tell you. Hopefully I will start on that soon.
What have you been up to? How is your week panning out? I won’t be available to blog next week, so have a happy Easter everyone, and take care over the holiday break.