I had all sorts of names for this blog, but none of them were very positive, so will have to go with this one.
I have recently started working at the school, and they have increased my hours, so I now work 10 hours a week, which is fantastic. I love working with the Year 9 kids. I have learnt more in Maths and Science than I did in my third form year!
But yesterday, on my only day off, I was sitting in the sun contemplating what I was going to do next when I realised, that if I wasn’t careful, I would over balance myself and end up back in my depression.
While this thought was fleeting, it did give me something to think about, because I am also writing / editing, selling and recruiting for Avon and working on my health, fitness and wellbeing, as well as being a mum, wife and step monster.
I don’t want to squeeze anything out of my day, but I don’t want to feel I have to accomplish everything either, not that I have reached that stage yet. One advantage of being on antidepressants is that I don’t have a care in the world, and nothing really stresses me out too much – unless I stress myself out, so easy solution – don’t focus on it!
My health and fitness are an area of my life that definitely need improving, and I have started on a new program that focuses on health and fitness for life, not just for the short term. This will help with my depression. I have found working with the kids has had positive results too – I am a natural encourager, good and supporting others, but crap at doing it for myself. Seeing them achieve is fantastic, even if they do need bribing every now and again.
So, for the next few weeks, I think it will be a case of playing it by ear, and if something upsets or stresses me, then I will have to just let it go, move on to another project until I feel less stressed, but the exercising has been fun, and I have lots of encouraging friends, which is always beneficial!
Don’t worry, writing won’t be going by the wayside, but it was just something that I wanted to put out there, part of making myself accountable . 🙂