Hidden Cafe, Motueka Valley Highway, NZ

Last Thursday, I had a great start tothe day.  I decided to dig up half of my garden and plant some seeds in the hopes that some plants might come up before winter sets in.  It was a very industrious morning and I felt happy with the outcome.  As a treat (and because Friday was Good Friday), I went up to my favourite cafe with my laptop.

That was my mistake.

By the time I got home, I was feeling very flat and not terribly happy.  While I was at the Cafe, I had forced myself to write.  And that was my problem.  I had to force myself.  What I wrote was OK, but writing just isn’t something I really want to do at present.  And I had made myself do something I didn’t want to do.

Today, as I write this, it is clear as day.  At the time, it took me a while to figure out what the problem was.  I need to give myself the time and space to do what I want to do when I want to do it, and I knew, before I went to the cafe, that I should probably have taken a book to read instead.  But no.  I forced myself to take my laptop and made myself miserable instead.

Lesson learned.

The school holidays are upon me, so a lot of editing won’t be going on, but that is OK.  I think I need to read for a while anyway, and I have Matt Hammond‘s second book to Beta read, and I am enjoying that very much.

And I will take it gently on myself, and not force myself to do something I don’t want to do.  Because if I don’t enjoy it, it will only bring me down again.  Albeit temporarily.

Lesson Learned
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