There have been two life changing events which happened last month. I’m not talking about depression, because while it is life changing, it is also a long term thing.
What I am talking about are events that are short in duration, but could have long term repercussions for me. And not in a bad way.
The first event was the Networking seminar. Yes, weird I know, but it was life changing because it relates to the second event. The second was the death of a very good friend, Mark Fowler.
Lets start at the beginning for this one, because it could get complicated. I attended a networking seminar in November, and learnt something about myself. I am an introvert. I guess I kind of thought I was, but a simple test confirmed it. My husband would disagree, he would say I was an extrovert, but anybody can be with a bit of alcohol in them. Alcohol is a thing of the past for me.
So I am an introvert, which does explain a lot. I like my own company, I find energy within myself, my real world is the inner world of ideas, understanding and meaning (I am god of my inner world!), I am difficult to understand (even I don’t get me sometimes!), have a public self and private self (I think I have blogged about this before), intense and passionate and tend to bottle up emotions (where do you think depression comes from???), have few close friends (I could count them on one hand), quiet in large groups, concentrate intensely (once upon a time I could), and mentally rehearse before speaking (and still screwing it up anyway!). That is me to a tee.
So how does that affect me? Well introvertism means that I don’t do public very well, I don’t do strangers, and I can come across as aloof and standoffish.
We went to Golden Bay for Mark’s funeral, and we arrived on Wednesday. This was the family day with Mark, so my beloved and I went to a local watering hole with the other bikers and had a few drinks. I didn’t know anyone there. And unless I did something, I wouldn’t know anyone there, so I started speaking to a lovely fellow named Karl. I found out all sorts of interesting things about Karl, and started a friendship that would see me through the tough weekend.
Thursday we were invited to the house, where we stayed for most of the afternoon and into the evening. I met so many wonderful people. I guess the fact that everyone was grieving, made it easier for me to put my arm around a complete stranger and then introduce myself. We had a mutual grief for the man we had all lost.
Long story short, throughout the few days I was in Golden Bay, I met so many more people that I had ever done since I moved to the small rural town I live in, and that was 8 years ago. I have many new friends, and people that I can call on if I am worried about Mark’s partner. Once upon a time, this would have been an extremely difficult week for me, isolated and alone, but instead I decided to come out of my shell, share my grief with those who were there and this allowed some healing to come into my life.
Now why did these two events change my life? First, I took a step of faith and talked to strangers and made new friends. Second, Mark lived his dream, and it made me assess my dreams. I want to have a close knit family, I want to write full time, I want to be able to live a full life and get to the end and everyone say – She lived the dream.
So my goal now is to start implementing some changes into my life and start living my dream. Are you living your dream? What is your dream?