Depression has really knocked my writing, and it is 8 months since I wrote anything of substance. I have edited, but not written.
And I know that there are probably some people out there who are just thinking – “writers block”.
And I might have agreed with them, up until two months ago.
I have been writing, rather piecemeal, little bits on this story, a chapter on that story, back to the first story, but nothing really feels right. Instead I feel like I am forcing myself to write. This isn’t writers block. Writers block is where you can’t write! I can, I just don’t like it.
I know this makes more sense to me than it probably does to you, but I will try and simplify it down for you.
Everyone knows what Writers Block is – right? (For those that don’t, Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing as a profession in which an author loses the ability to produce new work. (Thanks Wikipedia))
I can write. I can write new stuff, it just doesn’t feel right, or sit with what I am doing. I have days where I want to write, and will do so happily, but if I try too hard, it doesn’t seem right. I still keep it though, because it might come in handy!
So my problem really is, that the urge to write just doesn’t happen as frequently as I would like, and that is frustrating the hell out of me. I want to write, but when I sit at my laptop, unless I am really in the space and groove, writing is forced and doesn’t come out the way I want it to.
Maybe I am being too perfectionist about my writing? But then I seem to feel rather down and flat if I force myself to do something I don’t want to do, so why force myself to write something that isn’t coming together for me.
I feel better for getting this out into the blogosphere, and I am slowly picking up the pieces. Tonight I have actually done some research on Blood Gold, copying old Newspaper articles in the hopes that something might come of it.