Here is my contribution to my own Challenge that I made – regarding the picture of the clouds – bear in mind that I haven’t really proofed it, and it is in Chick Lit, which isn’t my favourite, but – hell it works for me!
In the Clouds
I was walking home from dropping Felicity off at school when I saw the most amazing cloud formation this morning. It was truly amazing, a white sliver in amongst the dark black clouds. So many possibilities for story ideas sprung to mind, only to be crowded out by other, more practical things that needed to be done: the bed sheets needed changing, change all the towels in the bathroom, vacuum the floors, wash the floors, clean the bath, and the toilet. Do the dishes, clean the kitchen (the toaster was getting full) and clean the windows. Man, life really doesn’t want me to write at the moment! Still, that cloud just seemed to open up the world, a split in time, a rip in the moment, where would that rip lead?
I did grab the camera though and took a photograph of the cloud, wow, it looks even more spectacular in black and white! More dramatic somehow.
I just can’t get that cloud formation out of my head. Is it an opening into another world? Was it the spirits trying to contact me? Out of confusion I rang one of those on line psychic’s.
“Hello, you are speaking with Sarah, how can I help you today?”
“Hello, ah, Sarah. I was wondering if you could help me?
“I will give you the guidance that you require, what is your name?”
“You’re the psychic, you tell me,” – whoops, probably a bit rude.
“You have called a psychic helpline, not a medium. What is your name?” came the crisp response.
“My name is Vanessa.”
“Vanessa…” there is a long pause on the phone.
“Hello?” I ask
“Yes Vanessa, patience please, I am looking at your cards. Please think of a question while I am reading them.” She said. So I thought of my question. But what was my question. I just wanted to know if the cloud formation was relevant in my life, if it was an omen or sign.
“Vanessa, I am seeing a dark man enter your hemisphere, I don’t know if he is known to you or not, but the number 3 is significant with this man. He will bring you the news you want to hear. Does that answer your question?”
“Umm, not really…”
“Oh. Oh, hang on, I have a spirit here, it is quite motherly, has your mother recently passed over?”
“Has your mother passed over?”
“No, she was still alive when I spoke to her half an hour ago.”
“Okay… okay, she is saying grandmother, have you a nana or grandmother that has passed over?” Well, that is probably grasping at straws.
“Right, she is a lovely smiling lady, died of old age. She is telling me that she loves you very much and misses you.”
“Uh huh,” I said, only because what else can you say – she was specifically vague!
“She would like you to know that your mother is going to help you significantly with a problem that you have.” Vanessa said.
“Do you have a friend who is being awkward at the moment?”
“Okay then… would you like another reading?”
“Umm, no I think I will pass on that.” I hung up.
Wasn’t very helpful was she, but who was this dark man? And what the hell does the number 3 have to do with it???
Man, what a day! Between working and cleaning, I had very little time for anything else, except to have a cuppa with Sheryl.
“Did you see the cloud formation on Monday?” I asked, because, you know, I still can’t seem to shake it.
“No.” Sheryl replied. There was a pause for a moment. She wasn’t going to ask me about it… I hate that.
“It was awesome, it looked like a rip in the sky, it was totally, like, you know?” OK, she didn’t. She looked at me all weird like.
“What were you on at the time?” She asked. I was hurt. She was supposed to be my bestest friend, and yet she was acting so cold and distant. Perhaps there was something about that cloud that was really screwing people up? And what was with that Dark man with the number three that the psychic was going on about. I told Sheryl.
“You gotta be joking me. You called a psychic?”
“Yeah, I know, it was stretching it.”
“What was stretching it?”
“I had to know what the cloud formation meant? Whether it was an omen or something.”
“Oh man, now I know you are certifiable. Perhaps you need to visit your therapist, she will be able to tell you what it all means.”
Now what hadn’t I thought of that before? When I got home I rang and made an appointment, tomorrow afternoon 4pm.
Why am I so hung up about a damned cloud?
Man I am tired. How can I be so tired? Anyway, this cloud fixation, as I am calling it has really got me no where. I visited with my therapist today, Dr Susan Joyce. Susan, she likes to be called, to be more friendly, so you can relate to her better. You don’t really relate to her when she presents you with a $200 for an hour on her couch! Maybe I should become a trained therapist…
Any, when I told her about the cloud the other day, she asked me what I remember about clouds as a child.
“I remember lying on the grass on the slope behind our house with my mother watching the clouds, my mother would encourage me to discuss what I could see in the clouds.”
“Such as?” said Susan’s silky voice.
“A cloud shaped like a mouse, or what food does that cloud make you think of. Then she would encourage me to write a story about it.”
“Write a story about the cloud?”
“No, about what the cloud inspired, the mouse running from the cheese, or the smell of hotdogs on a cold winter’s night. That sort of thing.”
“It sounds more like you are trying to reconnect with your mother.”
“But Mum and I are really close.”
“Perhaps you are trying to reach out to your father?”
“But my father and I have a good relationship.”
“But did your father ever lie on the grass and watch the clouds with you?”
I had to search my mind on that one. “Not that I can recall…”
“There, you see, you are trying to connect with your father.” She stated matter of factly.
“But hang on, my father and I have a great relationship.”
“But you wanted to share this experience with your father, that is why you keep obsessing about this cloud formation, it was something you wanted to share, a time when you were closest to your mother, so you translated that to wanting a closeness with your father also.”
“Aye?” Now I was confused. My father encouraged the practical side of me, my mother encouraged my whimsical or creative side. As far as I was concerned, I had a well balanced and adjusted childhood compared to most of my friends. Something about this didn’t make sense.
“You want to connect with your father in the same way you connected with your mother. You are focusing on the clouds because you want to be close to your father, a closeness that you had with your mother.” Susan said. By now, I was confused.
I walked out an hour later, more confused than when I first arrived there. What is wrong with me? I still have no answers about why I am still stuck on a bloody cloud, and instead I am now doubting the close relationship I had with my father and doubting whether I actually ever watched clouds with my mother or whether it was all part of my over active imagination! Bloody therapy!
But I think I do understand why I am so tired, just trying to work out my once functional family’s dysfunctional dynamics!
It is five days since I first saw the cloud formation, and I am really struggling with it. It has become an obsession, I just can’t get the image out of my head and it is driving me nuts! So far a psychic has told me nothing that was helpful, except a dark man with the number three will be significant (what has that to do with clouds!), someone I thought was my friend now thinks I am a freak who is so over the top that I no longer have touch with reality and a therapist who is absolutely sure that I have Daddy issues. What is it with people? Can they not see that I really am feeling very bound up here. Something is happening, I can sense it, and yet I just can’t put my finger on it! Arghhhhh!
I had an epiphany today, as I was drinking coffee. While I was actually watching the tellie at the time, funnily enough, Channel 3! There was a man on a talk show discussing following your dreams and how people just didn’t know what there dreams were. He told everything to think of what they would do, if they had all the money in the world, and didn’t have to work – what would they do. That got me thinking, and if I didn’t have to work, I would write, write and write! That was my epiphany, and everything that has happened this week has been pushing to this moment – the psychic told me that a dark man would enter my world and the number 3 would be significant – duh! Also, when I visited by therapist, I told her that my Mother used to encourage me to write about what I saw – and the psychic told me that my mother would help me with a problem! Wow, that was spooky. She also asked if I had a friend who was being awkward… Well Sheryl wasn’t in the right mood when I spoke to her the other day – that is scary, I always thought that mediums and the like were just a big crock!
So anyway, my epiphany, writing. When I saw that cloud, I saw an opening into another world. And it is something I have always wanted to do… wow, this could open up a whole new world for me.
I sat down at the computer, and started writing:
It was a cold morning, the wind blew brisky when I looked up and saw it. A split in a cloud above the hill, beckoning to me. It was an opening into another world…
I feel so much better now!