Holiday Slow Down

Life has slowly ground to a halt in this house.  School holidays have begun, Raspberry picking is in full swing, and I have no time left for myself.  One would think I would, but I have a son – an only child, and he uses me for entertainment.  Yesterday we went for a bike ride – in the sun – and he went for a swim.  Today, we have agreed to play Adventure of the Xbox Kinect, because we can get the fan going to cool us down, but still get to run and jump around!

My brain has decided to slow down too, I guess that is my coping mechanism.  I am finding myself really having to think about what I am doing.  I was shopping the other day and the sales lady was talking to me while she was waiting for me to do the Eft Pos thing, but I couldn’t focus on the conversation and getting the right details into the machine.  I am also finding at home that I need to stop and think about what I need to do next, and make sure I tidy up afterwards, otherwise the house quickly turns into a bomb site.

As a result of the brain slow down and the extra company, writing has gone out the window, for now.  My husband, who works away a lot, turned up unexpectedly last week, so that was two nights that I didn’t get to write.  I guess until we get the two older boys out, I won’t get much peace or time to write.  But them are the breaks.

It is funny how the brain does things to protect us.  I am not a big fan of Christmas, and while I was OK last year, previous years it has been a source of depression for me (perhaps I was expecting too much, and getting so little.)  It hasn’t been a problem this year, but then I have turned rather male with the whole “only focus on one thing at a time”.  I love how my brain works sometimes  🙂

On the positive side, we have decided where we are going for Christmas, and while some family members will be disappointed, that is there problem.  I am where I want to be and with those that matter to me the most.  Not that all of my family don’t matter to me, they matter a lot, but I need a stress free Christmas, and driving all day isn’t my idea of fun or relaxation.

Now New Years is a different matter.  A road trip is planned for early new years, hopefully that will work out.  But new years itself… plans are still up in the air!

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Christmas Wisdom

I had a mini meltdown the other day, because Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year.

Thanks Charlie Boyd  :o)

Thanks Charlie Boyd 😀

It is crowded, pushy, and with so many dissected families now (and yes, I mean dissected) it means several Christmas’ in one day.  Too stressful if you ask me!  If I had a choice, I would go bush for two weeks and come out again after New Years.

I have to admit that I am a lot more relaxed now than I used to be, reviewing my year and even the last two years.  I used to be so rigid in my ways, had schedules that I followed, and stressed out if I didn’t make it somewhere on time.  I remember doing that from when I was a teenager, it was my way of coping with the life that I lived.

Now, if I am late, sorry, I tried (although I still hear Ants Parder saying “if you’re on time, you’re late!”) but I am not sweating the small stuff any more.  I don’t have a schedule (other than my work schedule).  If I want to go into town, damn it, I will (35 minute drive in either direction!).  If I have several events lined up in one day, I don’t worry if I miss one or two of them, because I need to look after myself, and if that is one message I could get out there to Mum’s, Writers, friends, fellow depression sufferers, it is this:

“Take care of yourself first, then you can look after the others better.”

It is really important that you take time out and spend time alone, away from your children, those things that harm you, or your thoughts.  Go and lie out in the sunshine, take a bike ride, go for a walk, let your mind wander free.  Give yourself the time, each and every day, to take care of yourself.

As for my Christmas meltdown, I felt really stupid afterwards.  It was unnecessary really, but at that moment, I just couldn’t take the pressure.  Fortunately I had my Mum there who talked me through it (I love my Mum! x x) and I was able to see how fruitless my pity party was.

And I now realise that Christmas will be what I make it.  I will make it a good family day for my husband, my son, and hopefully my two stepsons.  It will be a day where we enjoy each others company and spend time telling each other how important they are to each other.  If one thing life has taught me this year:

Time is precious, use it wisely.

Another Day…

Today in Boxing Day in NZ, and we are all chillaxing here in my house.  I have just spent 1/2 hr in the garden, weeding it.  Of course I didn’t weed the entire garden, only a small part of it.  It is now too hot to try and do more.

Christmas was a fantastic experience this year, very laid back without hassles or disappointments, in fact we got around everyone we wanted to get around and still had time for ourselves!  Met some lovely people yesterday and enjoyed spending time with my family, which is what Christmas is all about.

My son can’t believe it is boxing day, after all the anticipating and waiting, although he certainly isn’t disappointed with what he got, in fact he is still playing with the Lego – wonderful stuff!

So anyway people, just a quick word to wish you seasons greetings and hoping you are all safely enjoying the festive season.

Take care x x

Yet Another Distraction…

Christmas is upon us, in full force.  I have noticed that it comes earlier and earlier every year.  The Warehouse and Farmers both had their decorations and products out at the end of October.  Is this a result of the recession?  I don’t know, that isn’t the point of this post.

So Christmas is only 17 days away.  From my little isolated corner of the world, it feels like a lifetime away, but I have already found that it has cut into my writing time.  Instead of writing or editing in the afternoon, I have been cruising TradeMe, The Warehouse website and other sites that are available to me as a purchaser in order to avoid the hustle and bustle of the city.  Because I hate the city, and I only live 45 minutes from Nelson, which isn’t really a city, but that is not the point of this post.

Instead of writing, I am looking at torches, Brainboxes, jewellery, skirts, dvd’s anything and everything that could be conceivably given as a gift, because the last thing I want to do is travel into Nelson and actually visit a place, along with hundreds of other people and try and decide what I really don’t want.

The internet has really made Christmas very easy.  Especially sites like TradeMe, where you can type in your search, and something vaguely resembling what you want pops up in the search.  I have managed to find lots of cool presents, including my beloved’s presents, and a couple for my boys.

So how is the writing going?  I actually achieved my two chapters last week, which really did surprise me, because one of the chapters is nearly double what a normal chapter would be.  Going to have some problems with that when I change the format of the book, because instead of chapters, I want to have days, so with some days being full of action, there are going to be some large chapters… still.

Another problem I encoutered was a plot problem that I discovered early on and hoped that it would easily be swept under the carpet, but the glaring flaw in the plot wasn’t going to be so easy to get rid of, so instead I have put it up on KiwiWriter in the hopes that others might have a suggestion or three that might help out.  I do have a formula brewing myself which is making the problem look pretty small, but with the distractions of Christmas shopping, the problem seemed huge, now it doesn’t!

So my goal for this week, two chapters again, and maybe a big push for three.  Hell, why not.  Three chapters this week.  I am determined to stop being so soft on my deadlines and actually start taking them seriously.  My new goal is to finish the editing of the last chapters by Christmas!  And with only 8 chapters to go, I am going to have to really step up to the plate on this one!