I had high expectations for Carols Christmas. I’d hoped that the fact I was donating money to charity would help with sales. Except they haven’t.

It’s not the first time I’ve had my expectations blown out of the water. All of my books have done worse than I thought they would. I think Second-Hand Daughter is a slight exception, but not by much.

I wonder if I’m writing boring shit, or stuff that people don’t want to read. I know that I have fans who like my work, and I deeply appreciate all of you.

But this time, I wanted to raise money for Breast Cancer New Zealand, because it is one of the charities I support (the other one being Daffodil Day at the end of August).

As of 19 October, I’ve raised $16 to be donated to Breast Cancer New Zealand. I wasn’t expecting to donate hundreds of dollars, but I had a goal of $50 – I’m not even half way there.

I realise that things are tough financially for a lot of people at the moment, but sometimes I really wonder whether writing is worth the pain that I constantly put myself through, but then I have way too many ideas going through my head to not write. I just don’t have enough time or energy to write everything I think about. (I do make notes of these ideas.)

Thank you for listening to me carry on. I just needed to get that off my chest. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.