Category Archives: Life

And Now for a little Venting

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I had high expectations for Carols Christmas. I’d hoped that the fact I was donating money to charity would help with sales. Except they haven’t.

It’s not the first time I’ve had my expectations blown out of the water. All of my books have done worse than I thought they would. I think Second-Hand Daughter is a slight exception, but not by much.

I wonder if I’m writing boring shit, or stuff that people don’t want to read. I know that I have fans who like my work, and I deeply appreciate all of you.

But this time, I wanted to raise money for Breast Cancer New Zealand, because it is one of the charities I support (the other one being Daffodil Day at the end of August).

As of 19 October, I’ve raised $16 to be donated to Breast Cancer New Zealand. I wasn’t expecting to donate hundreds of dollars, but I had a goal of $50 – I’m not even half way there.

I realise that things are tough financially for a lot of people at the moment, but sometimes I really wonder whether writing is worth the pain that I constantly put myself through, but then I have way too many ideas going through my head to not write. I just don’t have enough time or energy to write everything I think about. (I do make notes of these ideas.)

Thank you for listening to me carry on. I just needed to get that off my chest. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

RIP Diane Keaton

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Today, I learnt a sad fact of life. Everyone dies. Even those that you love and respect, and aspire to be like.

Today, 12 November 2025, Diane Keaton died. Self-titled as ‘the kooky actress’ she won a lot of accolades and awards for her roles over the years, whether they were serious or comedic. She wasn’t a comedian, she just managed to make things funny, by stating it as fact, or through her timing.

She had a tomboyish clothing style and favoured wearing vintage men’s clothing and often wore hats and different coloured lenses in her glasses. Whether this was because she liked the look or not I can’t find out. But I love yellow lenses which brings light into your eyes when it’s dark out.

The first movie I really saw Ms Keaton in was the First Wives Club – with Bette Midler and Goldie Hawn who are also favourite actresses. She plays someone who was really loved her husband and didn’t believe that he really wanted a divorce. She really seemed to have her head buried in the sand, but once she realised it was for real, she really came into her own.

In Something’s Got to Give she co-starred with Jack Nicholson, and Keanu Reeves. She wasn’t so ditzy in this movie, which was about forgiveness and discovering one’s own joys in life.

I especially loved her in The Book Club, and it’s sequel – really showed her quirky style and insecure nature.

I watched her being interviewed by Ellen and it was hard to say if she was playing a role on the show, or if she actually is like that in real life. She seemed nervous, anxious and high energy all at the same time. She laughed freely, and seemed embarrassed by simple questions. It made me really relate to her.

She never married, but had relationships with many of her co-stars. She adopted children on her own, and she seemed content to be on her own.

I shall miss her refreshing style, someone who had nervous anticipation and yet managed to always look on the bright side of life.

Being a Girly Girl

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I’ve always been one to get into shorts and jeans rather than skirts and dresses. Don’t get me wrong, I love to dress us and feel like a girl, but I tend to be a bit tomboyish.

But since I’ve finished up gardening, and started my new job, I’ve discovered my love for all things girly all over again, and now I’m wearing dresses and skirts, and even started to wear makeup!

I didn’t expect this to be a positive of working in doors. The main reason for working indoors was that it was warmer in winter, and also it would be easier on my body. But actually getting to wear dresses and skirts, and lovely blouses and getting out of my trousers and shorts has been quite refreshing.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love my trousers and shorts, because I don’t like being cold, but where I work is climate controlled, the temperature needs to be at a certain temperature, so as long as I have warm gear going into and out of the office, I can wear skirts and dresses to my little hearts content.

And I’ve started getting my nails done again. I love having long nails, and while I was gardening, it just wasn’t feasible to have them, dirt got under them, they would look chipped and ratty in no time at all, but now, because I’m only typing at the most, I can have the elegant nails.

And I’m wearing mascara! and Eyeliner! I don’t tend to put makeup on unless I was going out for the evening, but I’ve even been experimenting with tinted moisturiser and eyeliner!

It’s nice to be in touch with my more feminine side for a change. So I’ll continue to buy nice dresses and makeup and keep my feminine side happy.

Finding New and Inspiring Things To Do.

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I joined a gym, not long after I started my new job, and it was a little hit and miss to start with, but I got into a program, and had a personal trainer (who also runs the bootcamp that I go to) and started to really get into it.

On discussion with my personal trainer, I decided to up the ante a little and now I am in a three day a week program. It isn’t about building muscle, because that isn’t what I want to do, at this stage. Instead we are doing some corrective work, and then some muscle work to help.

Corrective work is because we discovered I have hyperextension. I always knew I was a little kookie with weird elbow angles, and knees that want to go backwards, so I’m doing exercises to help strengthen those muscles to prevent injuries from happening. I’m also doing exercises for my Archille’s that I slightly ruptured in December last year.

As a result, my mental health has improved, and my brain is just buzzing with ideas, which keep flowing, and I can’t keep up! I have a notebook with story ideas that I might have to get a ghost writer to finish for me!

Overall, I’m really enjoying the gym visits. It helps with my mental health, and I listen to podcasts while I’m exercising. I’m starting to get into a rhythm of attending three day a week, and settling into a routine of writing, editing and gym visits as well as my work schedule.

Living Your Best Life

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It has been obvious to me lately that we need to be living our best lives.

So what does that look like for me?
Living my best life is being with those I love, doing the things I love, and not taking things for granted.

Stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new isn’t something that I do often, but when I do, I’m always grateful for the opportunity to try something new. I always yearn to do the things I love, and I’m slowly getting back into doing those things again.

Writing is something that I’m passionate about, and as long as I can write, I will continue to do so. But recently I’ve decided to go back to writing the slightly off the wall books that I’ve always wanted to write, like fantasy and science fiction. Why? Because that is where I really enjoyed the story telling and developing a whole new world (worldbuilding). To a degree I get to do that with Tuivale and my Men in Kilts series, but it doesn’t have that fantasy aspect that takes the story to the next level, adding elements that are otherworldly, or just out of this realm of possibility.

I will continue to write contemporary romance and Womens Fiction, because I still have a lot of what if questions that need answering, but I have a need to express my inner weirdo to get it out of my head and onto paper.

Celebrations

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My son has just turned 21, which is always a big celebration, no matter where the in the world you live. But do we celebrate other things, like Book Birthdays?

I am probably one of the worst of celebrating. Christmas was never my thing, but I’ve always made a celebration of other people’s birthdays. I like to make people feel special. I’m up for celebrating anything, whether it is finally getting IT to finally do something we asked them to do 6 weeks ago at work, or a friend finally managing to get their wardrobe cleaned out.

But one thing I don’t do enough, is celebrate my own successes. I mean, I’m not raking in the money yet, which would be cause for a celebration, but I don’t really celebrate the release of a new book. By the time I’ve got a book released, I’ve read it over a hundred times and I’m ready to move onto the new and shiny project – which I think every writer can relate to. I’m excited that I’ve released a new book out into the world, but I struggle to really make the release something to celebrate.

And then book anniversary’s. I know what year a book was published, but until recently, didn’t keep track of the month it was published, so while Cursed Love was released eleven years ago, I can’t remember what month I released it. (And eleven years ago, my son was ten!)

When I finish a book, I don’t tend to celebrate, because I’m ready to move onto the next project and start the new shiny idea that is glowing (and growing) in my brain.

A friend of mine, who is a life coach, tells me that we need to celebrate those small achievements, the moments when we have done what we set out to do. We need to remind ourselves that celebration is normal in everyday life, and we should celebrate, and uplift and encourage others to celebrate too.

So I intend to start celebrating a bit more vocally about my books. I’ll tell people more about them, celebrate the topic I’ve chosen to write, I’ll spend time creating posts that celebrate what I’ve achieved, and help others celebrate their wins in life too. Because publishing a book is a win, in a world with AI bots churning out books by the day, any little writer knows that to write, edit, drip blood sweat and tears over a book, and then release it, is worth the celebration.

On the up and up

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A couple of weeks ago I wrote how I was suffering with the weather and down moods. I have since turned a corner, and now my mental health is improving.

And the reason for this, I believe, is catching up with a friend and talking about writing. It was as simple as that. We hadn’t been able to catch up over the previous few weeks because of weather related issues, or kids, but last Friday, we managed to catch up and mostly, we talked. We talked about writing, but we also talked about how we felt guilty because while we’d both been affected by the floods, we still had our homes and our properties survived unscathed, unlike a lot of our friends, and as a result, we have survivors guilt. Because we didn’t get the damage as bad as it could have been we felt guilty for feeling pleased that it hadn’t affected us.

We spoke about the trauma we both suffered having to evacuate and not knowing what we would be going back to, how the kindness of people we barely knew made it easier to cope. How we both emotionally broke down after it had all passed over because we were trying to be strong for our kids.

And then we talked about the power of writing, how cathartic it had been to write about our sadness and pain in various stories we’d written, and how it was our ‘therapy’, and how we felt so much better, mental health-wise, when we were able to find time to write.

I only spent two hours with Serena, but in that time, we found a companionship that went deeper than our writing friendship. We both had similar experiences and experienced the same emotions about the same things. And it was nice to know that someone knew how I felt.

It wasn’t until Sunday I realised just how uplifted I felt. How much lighter and brighter the world seemed. I was relieved that I’d finally turned the corner, because I wasn’t looking forward to spending another two or three weeks in that melancholy state, because even I don’t like myself when I’m in that kind of mood.

But sometimes, just spending time with someone who has a similar interest to you, can be all you need to was someone to shine a light so you come out the other side of the darkness, and realise that it was only a tunnel you were travelling through, and not a journey to the middle of the earth.

SAD time of Year

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It’s been a tough couple of weeks. My mental health has been on the decline, but it is that time of the year.

My mental health is something I am very conscious of, because it can sometimes be a delicate balance between feeling good and feeling nothing. Because when I go into a depressive state, I tend to feel numb. I also want to sleep more, I guess to take come of the numbness out of the day.

I do have go to ways of lifting my spirits, like getting out for a walk, and going to the gym, and watching stupidly funny videos, but even that hasn’t helped me get through this week. Instead, I’ve watched funny videos and thought more about how some of the falls would have hurt, and how close some people came to giving themselves concussion. Yeah, things are pretty bad when I can’t see the funny side of things.

It is that time of the year, when it is at it’s coldest and bleakest. Winter is still here, frosts are taking their toll, and I don’t do cold – have I told you I don’t do cold?

This weekend was an opportunity to escape to Wineheim, and catch up with my Mum and my brother’s family. we have a lovely time together, and it’s those moments that remind me that family are important in helping heal mental health issues.

It didn’t help that last week, my ankle and knee decided to play up, just as I was going for a walk, or to the gym, put I pushed through it and went anyway, because sometimes any excuses not to do something good for you, is the opposite of what you should do. I learnt that from my Bobba. He would get out and go for long bicycle rides just to chase the blues away. I miss that he’s not around to confide in anymore, but I can still talk to him, I just don’t get the answers like I used to.

Another couple of weeks and there will be longer days, and those who are affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder will lift, and we will get back to our normal daily routines, and our moods will lift with more sunlight in our day.

Until then, I will keep going, one funny video at a time.

Q3 Mid Quarter Progress Report

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We’re half way through July and things are happening.

I have the edits back for Carol’s Christmas and I have it away with my friend, Carole for her to check it out and proofread – don’t worry, she’s an author as well. I hope to get this off to two of the lovely lady’s who shared their cancer story’s with me for them to check it over as well. I kind of want their approval before I proceed any further. My plan is to publish this book in October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I also want to donate some of the funds from the book to the Breast Cancer Foundation. I’m thinking $5 for paperbacks and $1 for the ebooks. That’s my thinking at this stage.

I was thinking about publishing another book this year, but I think I will hold off on that, and focus on writing, because I have my editor booked for Finding Faith, my first Racing Harts book for the end of September 2025, which means that I will probably publish all three Racing Harts books next year.

I’m well on the way with my Men in Kilts series, which will be released in 2027. It sounds like a long time away, but I don’t want to burn myself out trying to write and publish 12 books a year. I’m already stretching myself to writing two books at a time, because I want to start publishing under my new pen name next year as well.

My new pen name will write Speculative Fiction – which is anything other than normal. Pretty much Science Fiction, Romantasy (Romantic Fantasy), Urban Fantasy. This is my first passion, and I want to write these again. Some will be spicy (full of sex), some will be sweet (kissing at the most), but it will be dark, because that seems to be where my stories have been going.

But never fear, because while I like writing dark, I like light and fluffy too, and for that reason I’m really enjoying writing Quin and Stef’s story in my first Men in Kilts story. It’s not quite a Romcom, but it’s pretty close, so very light-hearted.

Towards the end of the year I will have a publishing plan going forward, at this stage, I’m enjoying the writing process still, and can’t wait to get Carol’s Christmas out to you all to read. I had a lot of fun writing this book, which is another Women’s fiction. It has a strong female lead who discovers that money isn’t always the answer, and that people matter more than you think.

When it feels like Forever

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Wednesday night, I had little sleep after a nightmare repeatedly woke me up.

Thursday, another bad dream left me with little sleep.

I planned on having a sleeping pill to help me sleep Friday night…but nature had other plans.

I’d gone into town on Friday morning to have a catch up and lunch with a very dear friend. While I was there, my manager rang and told me to reconsider coming into work, because the worst of the rain was going to hit around 3pm. So I chose not to go to work.

I got home about two in the afternoon, and it was really pouring down. When I got home, I noticed the water in the orchard next to us was up, but not overly high.

But as the afternoon progressed, the waterlogged soil was unable to cope and the water got closer and closer to the house. Until by five pm, we had a lake out the front as the water from the orchard was trying to find the easiest way to get into the drain, and that was through the front of our place. The drain was so full, that for the first time ever, it was overflowing the footpath and the vehicle bridge to access our property.

We lost power about 4pm, and Mr H and I were outside barbequing our tea, when I saw Police cars go past, and then stop. They stopped at our place and told us we had to leave. Even though water hadn’t entered our property, and we knew we still have half a metre to go before it got there, they wanted us out. So we had five minutes to pack bags grab the cat and go.

Lunar wasn’t happy about the situation, but I wasn’t going to leave her behind, so with my laptop, tablet and phone, I then had to consider what else I needed. Clothes weren’t my top priority, but I had grabbed cat food and treats for her.

Fortunately, we were able to stay with a very dear friend, who had two cats of her own, which simply dwarf Ms Lunar. Our friend had a dog crate that she set up for us to put lunar into, so she could experience the warmth of the fire without worrying about the big boys harrassing her.

By 8pm, the rain had stopped. And it was eerily silent. Even the wind had stopped blowing.

But we stayed the night (another sleepless night) before we returned home about 1015 the following day. The only flood damage we had were apples from the orchard in our backyard. Nothing else was affected…

Except my mental health. It felt like we’ve had nothing but grey cloudy skies for three weeks (we have had some sunny days, but only like two or three), and then the stress of having to evacuate, by the time Saturday morning came around, I just wanted to cry. Even though it was just over twelve hours since we’d left our house, it felt like forever. Even though we’ve had periods of sunshine, it feels like it’s been grey forever.

But I have to keep reminding myself, it isn’t forever. We had a beautiful sunny day on Saturday, and I will remind myself after another couple days of gloomy weather that we have had sunshine.

Even when our mental health dips, we have to remember that we haven’t been feeling that way forever. It is just a small blip that we need to get through. It won’t last forever, only until we have a new sunny moment shine upon us.